The Lost Queen of Narnia
by writeonkate
Summary: This is the story of Susan Pevensie, the lost Queen of Narnia, who now must face the grim reality of her family's death, which makes her rethink her past actions. But now, without her sibling's help, can she find it in her heart to let the truth find her?
1. Misery loves company

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. They all belong to C.S. Lewis, as well as the wonderful world of Narnia which I have come to love. I did not intentionally steal anyone's idea.

"Ms. Pevensie?"

"Yes?"

"I'm afraid I have some bad news…"

Dead. Every one of them- Susan had held the receiver in a cold clammy hand as the rail man told her the particulars of the accident. The train her parents had boarded that morning, headed to Bristol, had gone out of control, taking a turn too quickly. Peter, Lucy, and Edmund, all watching from the "safety" of the platform, were all hit head on, and her parents, in the front car, along with four others that had yet to be identified, had been crushed from the impact. All had died instantly.

"Surely there's been some mistake…"

"We found your name in your brother's pocket, Ms. Pevensie. I'm truly sorry for your loss."

Her loss. Why did people say it? 'Loss' was misplacing a brush, to be found later. She would never be able to find her family's lives again.

"Er, their things are at the Bath Station. Again, my deepest condolences." With a click the receiver died and Susan numbly put it down.

With a heavy heart she went to a couch and sunk down into it. How could they be dead? Why, she had just seen Edmund two days ago, alive as can be. But now- it seemed so surreal that she would never again see her brothers or sister walk in through her door. Never again see her beloved mother or father. Or berated her siblings for continuing the mad fantasy of Narnia.

Two days passed, and Susan holed herself up in her apartment, trying desperately to ignore the calls of well-wishers. How could they offer her condolences? They wouldn't help- nothing was going to bring her family back. Nothing was as it should be.

Finally, on the third day, Susan resigned herself to going to Bath in order to pick up her family's belongings- now her's by right. She parked her car close to the rail station and paused, finding herself unable to go. Somehow, when she accepted those items, it would be final. There would be no changing it, no going back after this. "But," she reasoned, "Its not like there would've been going back if I didn't go and claim them."

So she resignedly got out of the car, going into the unclaimed baggage area, where a young woman about her age stood at a counter, boredly thumbing through a magazine. "Can I help you?" she asked boredly as Susan approached.

"Yes," Susan said finally. "I… I'm here to pick up my family's things."

"Name?"

"Pevensie," Susan said, and the girl behind the counter turned and went into a back room for a few minutes.

"Awful lot of stuff back here. Did they forget it or something?" she called as she began hauling the all-too familiar looking bags out to where Susan stood.

Susan gulped down the lump in her throat as she replied, if a little brokenly, "No. They… They're no longer with me," she said finally.

"Huh," was all the girl said. "There's a note on one of these," she said as she laid down Mrs. Pevensie's purse on top of the load. "Get address if further articles recovered," she read aloud. "That's odd… They don't usually ask for that sort of stuff."

Susan inwardly cringed at the girl's lack of comprehension. "They want it because my family died on the bloody train," she snapped, snatching the satchel the girl had brought out from her hand. "And if they find anything more, they can call me at the same number as before," she said angrily as she loaded the bags on a stray cart. With one last glare, she turned on her heel and left, her family's belongings on the cart in front of her.

With a heavy heart she loaded the boot of her car, not exactly sure what she would do with all of this. Her mother's purse, her father's wallet… they all seemed sacred. They all held too many memories. "Best pack it up," she reasoned as she drove home, unintentionally going to her parent's old home, where Lucy and Edmund had lived with them.

She parked the car on the street, not intending to be there long. She pulled out her keys, and found the oldest one on the key ring, and in a practiced motion unlocked her old home, unsure what to expect. She tentatively stepped in, half expecting to hear her mother in the kitchen making something or to see her father in his study reading. But of course, there was none of it. With a sigh, Susan put her purse down on the little table by the door, and began to walk around, not liking in the least how empty it sounded. The familiar furniture offered only slight comfort to her- for its familiarity was mocking, reminding her of who she had lost.

She turned to the kitchen, where dishes sat clean on the drying rack, waiting for her mother to put them away. How like her mother- to leave things clean. "Of course," Susan said aloud, trying to relieve the emptiness by speaking, "She was going on a trip." Carefully Susan put the dishes away in places that hadn't changed since she was a child in the house, and, with a sad smile, went to the sink, where there hung a family portrait taken years ago. Another lump came to her throat as she looked at the picture. The family was all together… something that would never happen again. "Not in this lifetime, at least," she said to herself.

She sat in the living room for awhile, staring into space as she tried to come to terms with loosing her entire family. Not that it was easy- just something that had to be done. "They're not coming back, Susan," she told herself firmly. "So it's just best to go on. Surely they wouldn't want you brooding about them."

But even these words did nothing to help her accept it. Rather than wallowing, though, Susan decided to simply unload her family's things there, and go away, leaving her family to be dealt with at a later time. She made quick work of unloading, stacking the stuff in the parlor, taking care with her mother's and father's personal items like wallet and purse, then, with a last look, shut off the lights and left, the only sound the click of the lock as she went away.

a/n: Please tell me what you think! Reviews greatly appreciated!


	2. Homecoming

Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is the ideas presented. All characters are C.S. Lewis'.

_The air blew softly on her face, and familiar laughter filled the air of the enormous meadow in which Susan stood, dressed in a plain shift of an eerily familiar style. Strange creatures that looked like goat men were dancing jubilantly not far from where she stood to beautiful music. But even the fauns (as she quickly began to call them in her head) failed to keep Susan's attention for long when she glanced across the field to a not so distant hill where stood her family. _

_Peter was in front, dressed in fine clothing of an odd style, and a large golden crown on his own golden head. Edmund and Lucy, in equally fine apparel flanked him on either side, both wearing crowns as well. But what caught her attention the most was who was standing behind her brothers and sister. Her parents, younger than she remembered, stood smiling behind their children, dressed in the same strange fashion (though at the moment Susan could've sworn anything aside from the apparel she was dressed in was strange). All of them waved vigorously at her, beckoning her to come with them. Susan quickly swept back her hair, noticing as she did so the flowers entwined in her dark curls, and began to run. Just as she neared her family, they turned with playful smiles and began running ahead of her. At first, Susan was fairly confident in her ability to catch up to them- they were no more than fifty yards away. But as she continued to run, she could have sworn they were getting farther and farther away- it was almost as though they were running faster than she could even imagine. With a sinking heart, she stopped, exhausted, and watched her family continue running as she leaned over, gasping for air and grimacing at the pain in her side. _

_Just as she was about to begin running after her family once more, a giant shadow fell across her. Susan stood, paralyzed for a moment, before a deep comforting voice called to her "Turn, Daughter of Eve." With a fluttering heart she turned, and looked out to a shadowy figure in the distance. "Susan, inside your heart is the truth. You have but to find it to come home," the voice said. Susan took a hesitant step foreward, determined to see the face of this figure, but before she could do so, she fell down, plummeting into darkness…._

Susan awoke in her bed in a cold sweat, sitting up quickly. The dream had seemed so real… like she had actually been there. "But that's impossible," she said aloud, trying to convince herself of that fact. "Simply impossible… it was but a dream." With a hasty sigh she went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was in her nightgown, nothing like what she had worn in her dream, and her hair, rather than having flowers woven in it, was a massive puff she had yet to tame with a brush and curler. She stared at herself for a good ten minutes, convincing herself again and again that as real as that dream had been, she hadn't left her bed that night. With a sigh, she took a glass of water and drank it, then pinched herself once for good measure. The smart was genuine, she found, and though not completely satisfied, Susan went back to her bed and soon fell into a sleep blessedly devoid of dreams.

The next week posed problems for Susan, though. The words of the stranger continued to echo in her head at the most inopportune moments, and the memory of the dream gave her many sleepless nights. Her friends began to notice the bags on her eyes that she couldn't conceal despite layers of makeup, and her work began to suffer. "Take a break," her friend Emmy told her as Susan downed her eighth cup of coffee one Wednesday morning in a futile attempt to stay awake. "You look miserable… I mean, your family's funerals was just three weeks ago. Just tell the boss you need to get their stuff in order or something and take a break. You look dead on your feet." Susan mutely nodded and finished her coffee, and with a parting "Thanks" left to go back to work, ready to ignore the suggestion. But as days passed and Susan began to fall asleep at work, she stepped back and took her friend's advice and took off a week in order to put her family's house in order so that later she could sell it.

At four o clock on Friday, Susan took up her purse and put the last letter to be sent in her outbox as she made her way to her car to go back home. Her time off began tomorrow, which meant one thing: tomorrow she would have to face going back to the house she had forsaken for almost a month now. Going back would mean having to accept her family's deaths. For Susan had yet to come to terms with that grim event. She had attended the funerals, seen five coffins buried side by side in the ground, but it still didn't seem real to her. Deep down, she found herself expecting her family to greet her at the door the next day when she went to their house, all welcoming her home like they had always done. Which was why she was dreading the next day: because she knew that as soon as she went through that door and didn't see her family, it would become all too real, and all too painful for her to bear. With an anxious sigh she pushed the thoughts from her mind as she warmed up a frozen casserole for dinner and changed into her pajamas. Even though it was five thirty, Susan felt exhausted- "Probably," she thought with a wry smile, "since I only slept all of half an hour last night." As soon as the oven heated up, she shoved the casserole in and set the timer, then went over to her old radio and turned it on, taking solace in the upbeat song that began. Soon enough, her dinner was ready, and she took it to the couch to eat as she listened to the evening news. It was the same as usual: a robbery, an update on a trial, and a report on how the local candidate for Parliament was employing the use of a tap dancing duck to publicize himself and gain voters. With a sigh, Susan finished and took her plate into the kitchen, leaving it in the sink for later and went to bed, though it was only 7:00.

Susan had for once no difficulty going to sleep, and the next morning she woke up in a better mood than she had been all week. But as she went about her morning routine of shower and getting dressed, her spirits sank, coming to an all time low by the time she was in her car. Today was the day- the day she would pack everything of importance to her and take it back with her. She had yet to decide what to do with the rest- perhaps a charity. But that was a bridge she would cross when she got to it. While she had been mussing, she had reached her parents' home, and was now sitting in the car trying to gather up the courage to go in. Finally, after ten minutes, she took the keys out of her ignition and got out and walked up the familiar walk to her old home. She paused at the door, dug out her key, and opened the door, her eyes tearing as the familiar scent of wood polish and tea hit her nose. Just as she knew, her family was gone from the house in all but pictures, and a rancid smell was coming from the ice box where there was month old food most surely decomposing by now. Her mother's once spotless home was now covered in a thin film of dust, and Susan had to stop herself from sobbing as she took in its sight. How could she have let this happen? It seemed like an insult to her mother's memory to let the house go like this. With a renewed sense of purpose, Susan hurried to the kitchen and began cleaning out the ice box, first taking out all the rotted food then scouring it with dish soap. Next she dusted the entire house just as she had seen her mother do so many times. As her arms began to ache, she gained a new respect for what her mother had silently done all those years without complaint and smiled, feeling as though somehow in that simple act she was closer to her mother than she had been in years.

The day passed without Susan's notice, and it was dark before she even realized that she had been there all day. She had been so absorbed in cleaning the house, an all day task, that she had ignored the passing of time. But the most surprising thing to her was that it didn't bother her in the least- normally she would've been appalled at such behavior on her part, but this time she was happy about it. With a satisfied smile she looked about on her handiwork, and with a satisfied nod turned out the lights and grabbed her keys, smiling at the picture of her family as she left and locked the door, looking forward to the next day.

a/n: Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed. It really lit a fire underneath my lazy rear to get writing! I am really sorry for the delay.. I was in California for New Years and so had no access to a computer. Anyway, hope you guys enjoied this one. Please leave a review!


	3. Discovery

Disclaimer: Nothing that you recognize belongs to me.

Susan sat on the floor in her sister's room folding clothes quietly as she listened to the steady 'ping' of raindrops hitting the window. It was already Tuesday, and Susan was just beginning to get to her family's things. First on the gamut was the room she and Lucy had shared all those years ago- a frightfully unpleasant task for Susan because of the emotional rollercoaster these past few days had already put her through. Each of her sister's things were lovingly folded then put in two neat stacks- one to be given to goodwill, the other to be kept. Try as she might, Susan couldn't help putting a good majority of her sister's clothing into the 'keep' pile. By keeping these things, it seemed, it made Lucy feel closer to her. And though she told herself to let go, the execution proved harder than she bargained.

A clap of thunder sounded outside and Susan flinched, startled. "That's what you get for just sitting up here all alone for so long," she chided herself aloud, to try and break the uncomfortable silence of the room. Around her sat piles of clothing- Lucy did seem to have accumulated quite a large wardrobe, she thought with a smile- all sorted neatly, and her sole company in the small room. With a shrug Susan reached into the dresser to get another shirt out, only to find none left. With a bit of difficulty, she managed to stand and took in the room, littered with all of Lucy's old things. "All that's left now is to box them up," she said aloud, her voice wavering as she spoke.

With a frustrated sigh, she wiped the tears forming in her eyes away and tried to focus once more on the task at hand. "Boxes… Daddy kept them upstairs in the attic," she told herself firmly, in hopes that a firm tone would stall the tears for awhile longer. To her great relief it did, since it was her firm opinion that she had 'done enough crying that day to last a lifetime'.

Up the stairs she went, clutching the flashlight in her left hand as she used her right to carefully navigate the stairs. With a smile she recalled the games she and her siblings had played up there when they were small. A small creak when she stepped up brought her back to the present and with three more steps she found herself upstairs in her family's attic.

The attic looked as though no one had been up there for years upon years. "And I thought the dust downstairs was bad," Susan said as she flashed the light around, trying to find the boxes she was looking for. Her light glanced over an old couch, a tall mirror, and even an old radio that she could faintly remember dragging up there as a little girl. But what caught her attention most was a tiny chest in the corner. At first glance it was nothing to see- merely an ancient, warped wood chest covered in an inch of dust. Yet something about the chest intrigued Susan… what it was, she couldn't tell, but she knew for sure that it was something worthwhile.

She carefully aimed her flashlight at it and picked her way towards the corner, trying to avoid the papers that lay scattered all about her. It took nearly five minutes to cross the room, and when she finally made it Susan leaned down to take a closer look. It was, naturally, nothing more remarkable than it had been five minutes ago- yet something inside her told her to look inside. With a hesitant smile she reached out and undid the latch, about to pull the lid open when a clap of thunder once again startled her.

With another careful look around, Susan took in another deep and dusty breath, calming herself, before she opened the trunk. She reached over to her side where the flashlight lay and shined it inside, her heart falling as she did so. The contents were just as unremarkable as the outside had been. "What a ninny you are Susan," she told herself. "Did you really expect to find something in it?"

But as she made to close the trunk, the voice deep inside her, the same as in her dream spoke. "You have not yet scratched the surface, Daughter of Eve," it said. "Perhaps deeper you shall find what you were looking for."

The voice severely scared Susan, who up until now had palmed the voice as being but a figment of her imagination. But what was most unsettling to her was its familiarity- it seemed that sometime long ago she had heard that voice. She sat back, taking her hand off the lid, and stared at the box for quite some time, severely unsettled. The words hadn't even made sense to her! "Scratched the surface… deeper you shall find what you were looking for. What a load of rubbish!" She said angrily as she stood, her hand still trembling slightly. "I wasn't even looking for anything!" She said loudly, to the voice that she knew would not hear her.

With a frustrated glance back at the still open box, Susan turned away, grabbing the flashlight as she proceeded to search once more for the boxes she had come up there for. Oddly enough, though, the boxes eluded her, serving to make Susan only angrier, though she couldn't rightly tell why.

"I can't do anything without those bloody boxes!" she seethed angrily as she stood in the center of the attic. "Where are they!" Angrily she kicked a small painting on the floor, which slammed into a wall. The sound of the frame cracking caused her attention to go to it, and with a roll of her eyes she went to see what she had destroyed this time.

Lying there, face down, was the splintered remains of a small oil painting, undoubtedly one of Lucy's by the scribble on the back. Susan sighed and bent down, turning it over to see what it was. Painted there was the face of a lion, ferocious yet gentle all at the same time, its deep golden mane shimmering and its cat eyes gleaming in the light. Susan stared at the painting for awhile and was about to put it back when she could have sworn she saw the lion blink. "Ahh!" she yelped, dropping the painting and stepping back. But as soon as she dropped the painting, the lion ceased to look real, going back to a very normal oil painting.

Breathing heavily, she backed up quickly from the painting, not taking her eyes off it all the while. Only a moment later, with a loud thud, Susan found herself on her rear, the chest she had abandoned upset beside her. "Ow," was all she could say for a moment as she rubbed her head and sat in a pained silence. However, the throbbing soon subsided, and Susan reached over haphazardly to put the contents she had upset back into the chest, a gleam of silver caught her eye from inside. Setting the papers down, Susan crawled over to investigate, digging through the papers inside to find the source of the silver gleam. Her hands passed through papers, and even brushed against some silky material which she vowed to explore later, but she kept groping for the silver object. Finally, the cold metal struck her hand, and eagerly she grabbed it and managed to extract it from all the other things in the chest.

Susan had just gotten her first good look at the thing with her flashlight when she gasped. It was a crown… but not just any crown. Inside was a script of foreign language, that though she hadn't seen since she was a child, she could still read perfectly. She barely had to adjust the light to read the words that she could remember all too well.

"_The head upon which I am laid shall forever more be royal made."_

"Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia," she said in spite of herself. She tore her eyes away from the crown and to the chest again, where the smooth folds of fabric lay on top now. With a practiced hand she removed it, holding it up to better see it. A dress, just as she had worn in those bygone days, still perfectly intact. It was made of the most lovely jade velvet, with a split front skirt opening on a petticoat of blue. Just feeling the soft material made Susan's mind fill with long forgotten memories.

But just as soon as she had let the memories overtake her, Susan's mind screamed in rebellion. "How could I do that to myself again?" she said angrily as she hastily put the dress back. "Narnia is nothing but a fantasy… why, this is just things we made as part of the play," she said, trying all the while to ignore that the dress was anything but made by the hands of children and in her size, and that the crown was of genuine silver. "Its _not real_."

With a disgusted sigh, Susan bent and put the crown down carefully on top of the dress and left the attic, the task which had brought her there completely forgotten.

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a/n: Thank ya'll so very much for the outpouring of reviews! It really means so much to me.

Ani-maniac494: Thank you ever so much for your kind review. I promise, we'll see a bit more later how Susan attempts to deal with her dream and with the idea of Narnia as a whole.

Greenbean347, arabesquesunset, Marian, Avalon88, Callista Miralni, and LetticeEvansPotter: Thank you all, and I'm so happy you guys liked it.

Greyhound Master: Thank you so much for your feedback. I appologize for the length of paragraphs- I must admit that my pinkie finger gets lazy and doesn't make it over to the return key as much as it ought to. Hopefully this chapter was a bit easier!

G'reth: Aw, thanks. No one's ever told me I was heaven sent before.. blush Anyway, I'm so glad you like the story and hope you'll continue reading!

KateLilly: Thanks for the review, but I'm afraid I can't answer your questions as it would give away the entire story! And if I did that, how would I entice you guys to review:)

fledge: I do most sincerely appologize for the lack of action. I'm afraid I have a tendency as a writer to focus one day at a time, hence the brevity of the last chapter. You'll notice, I'm sure, that I do have dificulty summing up any long expanses of time in a way that I find nice. As for Aslan... well, you'll see him here briefly, but beyond that I cannot say! Thank you so much for your dedication to this story!

scullymulder: Did it really? I'm so happy! Well, not that you were sad, but that you were able to connect! Its such a wonderful feeling! Anywho, I hope she gets her family back, too, but we'll just have to see where she goes, don't we? grin Thanks again!

Faerlas: Addicted? Mwahaha, you sound so much like me with other fanfics. :) Thanks so much for your review!

Elf of Sirannon: Ah, Elf of Sirannon. Your review has weighed rather heavily on my mind and totally kicked my imagination and logic into gear. I totally give you props for doing your homework so well! Now explanations: The car is absolutly essential to the story, I'm afraid, so though it is extremely unlikely in a historical sense that Susan would own a car of her own, it has to happen. Imagine if you will it being her parents' old car which they gave to her or somthing like that. The coffee rather than tea was a totally bout of laziness on my part, since I wasn't sure at the time whether or not tea was caffinated (I don't drink it!) and I'm a stupid American who doesn't know a stich about it, nor did I feel like putting forth effort to google it. As for the casserole... well, it was rather late and my imagination had shut down when I was writing that part, and as you saw with the tea, I was in a lazy mood so I didn't feel like researching what sorts of things she would've eaten. My explination: she had made it earlier and frozen the remains of it or something like that. :) Thank you so very much for the review and keeping me on my toes!

Virtual huggles to everyone who reviewed. Love ya'll lots! Sorry for the wait for this chapter... I was going to wait for 20 reviews, but that didn't happen so I had to settle for 600 hits. Can we aim for at least 10 more reviews on this new chapter? I swear, I feed off of those critters!

Kate


	4. Reflection

Disclaimer: No characters belong to me, nor does Narnia.

"What in the world do you have in here, Susan?" A lean man of about 25 with bright red hair asked as he heaved a box out of the boot of Susan's old car.

"I told you, Evan, just a few things I wanted to keep," Susan said as she took a smaller box from the backseat.

"Few things is an understatement," Emmy said, her voice muffled as emerged from inside the trunk with another box. "This is the fifteenth one we've unpacked!"

"You've been counting?" Susan replied with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Well, you know, there's not much better to do," Emmy said with a sarcastic sigh.

Susan smiled sheepishly and quickly took the box she was holding up the steps to her apartment and put it down just inside the door. Once inside she took a quick look around. The apartment looked worse than it had on moving day, and that had been a regular labrynth of boxes. Now, in addition to the massive amounts of furniture she had managed to squeeze into the 71 square meter apartment (a/n: aprox. 767 sq. ft), there was stacked at least thirty boxes, each balanced precariously atop one another.

"How in the world are you planning on fitting all this in here, Su?" Emmy said from behind her. Susan whirled around, startled, to see only her friend in the doorway holding a box.

"I'll manage," she replied hastily.

"How?" Evan asked from behind the large box he was carrying. "Your going to have to rent out another apartment just to fit all this," he said as he put the box down with a grunt.

Susan grinned. "Your right… perhaps we ought to take it all back down and move it back," she said very seriously as she surveyed the boxes.

The twin looks of horror on her friends faces was priceless, and Susan wished that she could have afforded a new camera so she could capture their faces.

"Oh come off it. You know I was only kidding," Susan said quickly, a large smile on her face.

"Good… for a minute I thought you had gone out of your ever loving mind," Evan replied with a well intentioned glare of mock annoyance.

"No… Not yet anyway. But thank you two so much for helping me do this. It really means a lot to me," Susan said, hugging each of her friends.

"Don't mention it," Emmy said smiling. "We were glad to help… right Evan," she said, jabbing him in the side.

"Oh, yes, certainly," he replied quickly.

Susan stepped back and smiled as well. "Well, looks like I have a hot date with these boxes… so I'll see you both around," she said hopefully.

"Definatley. At work at least," Emmy promised.

"Just ring if you need any more moving help," Evan said with a smirk as he left, Emmy close behind him.

Susan closed the door behind them, stepping around the boxes to the window where she saw them start down the road to the train station. She watched until she could see them no more, then turned and sighed as she looked at the towers newly erected in her parlor and dining room.

"What am I going to do with all this?" she said as she surveyed the mess in front of her. "Best start at the beginning," she reasoned after a moment, and went to the closest box at hand, marked 'Ed knick-knacks'. She pried open the top and looked inside, running a hand through her hair. The box was full to the brim of old things that Edmund had always insisted upon keeping- mostly train models and books of that sort of thing. She sighed as she looked at it all. At the house she couldn't bear to part with any of it- but now, the daunting task of finding a home for all such things tempted her to chuck the lot of it into the dumpster.

But as she picked through the things again, some were just too important to donate or throw away. For the rest of the day Susan dug through boxes, picking out the most precious items to be kept and checking boxes twice to make sure she had missed nothing. Lucy's necklace, Edmund's first model train, Peter's pocket watch: all found their way into special places about Susan's apartment. By 10, Susan found herself exhausted and though only about a quarter of the boxes were sorted through, decided to retire, since the next day she was expected back at work.

The boxes remained in Susan's apartment for a little over a month. All the while Susan considered their contents, weighing each item in importance, and from each large box pulled perhaps an item or two. With work, Susan could hardly afford to spend much longer than two hours sifting through the items, but slowly she worked her way through until no box was left unopened save one.

It was the box Susan had been dreading- a large cardboard one, of a grand weight that had taken both Susan and Evan to lift it up the two flights of stairs to her apartment. It had loomed from the corner where she had shoved it for the past month now, a not so welcome reminder of a task she would not relished. So, as was her habit, she ignored it until she could ignore it no more. She sighed and looked at it with a grimace. "Best suck it up and get it over with," she said, and resolutely went to the box.

It had taken both Evan and Emmy to shove the box into its current position, snug in the corner, Susan remembered as she fell onto her bum after trying unsuccessfully to pull the box from its position. Twice more she tried, only succeeding to tear the cardboard from end to end. With a frustrated huff she pushed back her hair and stood staring at the chest, hands on her hips, sizing it up. "How the bloody is it so heavy?" she asked aloud as she looked at it.

This examination turned up no more results than the one in the attic had- aside from the fact that the thing was positively filthy. With a grimace Susan took a nearby rag and wiped off a layer of grime to better look at the thing. A carved top she had noticed before, and made of oak if she wasn't much mistaken. She walked in a semi-circle about the box, as far to the left and right extremeties as the walls would allow her as she searched for a way to get it out. No immediate idea aside from cleaning the thing out came to her, so with a large amount of disdain she knelt and fingered the latch, noticing for the first time the lion carved on top along with S.P. in script. "Funny," she said as she undid the latch and opened it, "I never remember such a chest."

Opening up the chest was like opening a whole new world. The papers which Susan had initially taken for scraps were in actuality precise drawings of fantastic creatures, with rolls of scrolls lining the sides that when opened revealed beautiful precise hand in a language she could not place. Under these lay textiles of the finest quality- a cloak, petticoats, chemise, and the dress she remembered from last time. Holding it up to the light only revealed it to be more handsome and fine than she had even imagined it to be- and also, to her great chagrin, dispelled any hope that she and her siblings had ever made it. With a quick shake of her head she laid the dress aside and checked the clock- half past eleven, and work would be waiting for her the next morning. So with a certain amount of relief mixed with regret, Susan closed the lid to the chest and went to bed.

To Susan's surprise, the next day she could hardly keep her mind on work. Her thoughts so usually concentrated upon her work or the next social function drifted constantly to the dress that lay at home. For a week she avoided the garment like a plague, skirting it as she passed from the kitchen to her room every day and night, afraid for some reason to be near it. Furiously she tried to keep her mind away from the chest and its contents, going on more outings with her friends until she was so exhausted all she could manage to do when she returned was crash. Yet still the contents haunted her dreams- oft times Susan would find herself in the dress in these dreams, laughing happily with her family.

Finally the weekend came, and after a long Friday evening, Susan returned home to crash as usual. But the next morning, she could hardly think of what to do with herself. Quite against her will she skirted the corner of her dining room to the kitchen, grabing herself a cup of cold water from the tap. As she stood drinking, she stared out at the dining room. As she considered the dress, she chided herself. "Its just some fabric… nothing to be scared of," she said to herself, putting the glass down and walking to it once more. As she neared, she could have sworn it drew her in, beckoning, calling her to a land not her own, yet so familiar. Her hand ran over the smooth fabric, and before she knew what she was doing she held it up to herself, taking it to a full length mirror in her room.

To her great surprise, it looked as though it would fit, and even moreso, she wanted to wear it. She could hardly describe the feeling, save for that it felt right to wear such a lovely thing. Quickly she went back to the dining room and fetched the underthings, and returned to her room. Then, with the giddy delight of a child playing dress-up, Susan exchanged her own garments for these new ones, sliding on the petticoat and cheimise with great familiarity. A bundle of stockings she also found, with pretty ribbon garters, which with an eerily practiced hand she pulled on. Then came the crowning glory of the dress. With nimble, practiced hands Susan loosened the stays in the back and slid it on, noting how light and free it felt, and tied the stays tightly. She spun around happiliy, feeling like she had just stepped out a fairytale, and turned to the mirror.

The woman staring back at her was one Susan did not recall seeing in many years. Long deep brown, boardering black tresses fell down her back, excentuating her beautiful face. Fair skin with a rosy blush about her cheeks, she was a beauty. In a practiced fluid motion she swept down into a curtsy, her elegant neck bowing just enough for respect but at the same time aloof enough to make people aware of her importance. As she straightened, she turned to the chest once more, where on top lay the silver crown. Without knowing what she was doing, she retrieved it, and took it back. For a few minutes she only stared at it, then looked at herself in the mirror. With trembling hands she reached up and placed it upon her own head, gasping at what she saw in the mirror. Quickly she removed it, quaking, and her knees bucked. She knelt there, sobbing, in remorse and horror at what she had just seen.

For in those few brief moments that the crown had touched her head, Susan the Gentle, Queen of Narnia had lived.

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a/n: Well, that was very mildly entertaining wasn't it? (insert yawn here)Mayhap I'll rethink this whole thing, botch it and start over? Hmm?

To all of you who probably just died as you read that: j/k! This wasa pretty fun chapter to write. If you couldn't tell, I kinda got into it at the end. :) Will Susan embrace her true self? Will she return to her family? Will Emmy and Evan ever be in a chapter again? Will I ever stop writing these stupid questions in a desperate attempt for suspense! (The answer to the last one is yes, by the way.)

Oh yes, I wanted to give you guys a huge thank you for your outpouring of reviews. It was so awesome! 18 on chapter 3 alone. wOOt! Virtual huggles all around! Hope you guys don't mind, but I really haven't the time for personal shoutouts, since I'm cutting into history homework/practice time as it is. Whoops. You guys know I love ya, right?

Anyway, hope you all enjoied this chapter, and please review. Same 10 review policy! And I'm very sorry for the delay... inspiriation left until today. Guess I found it at the dentist or something..

Yours,

Kate


	5. Meetings

a/n: Just wanted to say I'm terribly sorry for the wait. Things have happened that not only prevented me from writing, but also took away my muse. Hopefully this is somewhat worth the wait! Usual disclaimer- nothing good belongs to me.

Susan was, for the first time in a long time, honest to goodness scared. Her highly structured world that she had prided herself in keeping was rapidly dissolving before her eyes- all because of a certain dress and crown.

She had spent all of five minutes in that all too familiar garb, but the memories that they both evoked were too much for her to handle. Days long gone of a carefree existence in a land too good to be true, living life as a kind, wise monarch…. All of which she had decided to reject so long ago. The doubt that this game was true had long ago been shoved away. But now that doubt, stronger than ever, came back. And what was worse, the more she told herself that it wasn't so, the more she found herself believing that it was.

"This is ludicrous," Susan said one evening as she sat in her apartment listening to her radio. "I can't just let it control me like this. I… I'll pack it back up and take it back where it came from. Yes, yes, that's exactly what I'll do!" she said with a firm resolve and a slightly manic smile.

Without hesitation Susan took up everything that had come from the chest and resolutely began stuffing it all back in, fighting the urge all the while to take it all back out again and examine it. Because deep down, she knew what she was doing would take away her family from her forever.

A rattling at the door called her away from her task, and she hurriedly went to the door to see what it was. A peek through the peep hole gave her no indication of what it was, so she cautiously opened the door, ready to slam it once more if need be- one could never be too careful. The man outside was about her height, with a tanned complexion, finite facial features and dark brown hair. "Who are you?" Susan asked suspiciously.

"Oh.. oh!" he said, turning away, embarrassed. "Terribly sorry… I just moved here, and I rather… I'll be going," the man said, quickly turning and going to the door next to her and fumbling with a key in the lock, in the process dropping the parcel he held under his arm.

"Here," Susan said, leaving her apartment and retrieving the parcel. "I'm sorry.. that really wasn't very neighborly of me, was it?"

The man took his parcel back with a good deal of embarrassment. "Oh, no, that's not your fault. Entirely mine.. going about trying to open my neighbor's door… oh I'm such a prat!" he mumbled.

"Well, er, I'm Susan. Susan Pevensie," Susan said awkwardly.

"Um, Derik Ellidge," Susan's neighbor responded weakly, shifting his parcel to shake her hand.

"Well, it certainly was a pleasure to meet you.. if perhaps not a bit unconventional," Susan said brightly, trying desperately to lighting the mood.

"Oh, yes, of course," Derik replied, turning his quite red face away.

"Er… see you around, I suppose," Susan said after a moment, turning away herself and walking the few steps to her apartment.

"I don't suppose, Ms. Pevensie," began Derik hesitantly. "That you, er, would ever want to come by or anything… have a drink or something," he said, trailing off.

"That.. that would be very nice, Mr. Ellidge," Susan said, brightening. "I would very much enjoy that."

Derik broke into a wide smile and nearly dropped his package again as he stumbled into his apartment. "Well, goodnight!" he said cheerfully.

"Goodnight!" Susan replied, feeling better for some reason than she had in weeks.

Susan began to see Derik more and more over the proceeding weeks. It was, for her, a way to forget all the problems she had been dealing with in the last month or so. Derik made her feel oddly at ease, and his influence made the ridiculous thoughts of the chest recede further and further, until she barely gave it a second thought.

Once, she ventured to tell him of the chest, the mad fantasy of Narnia, and the 'adventures' that she and her siblings had had in the mystical land. He had met it with surprising interest, though to her great relief, agreed with her that, though it sounded wonderful, Narnia could not in any way exist. Hearing it from Derik made it easier for Susan to push back the guilt of forgetting.

So Susan began her process of 're-forgetting', if you will, and was soon able to look at the chest that still lay in her dining room and not feel anything more than a bit of remorse for her dead family.

But for Derik Ellidge, the chest Susan Pevensie had confided in him about held a deeper interest. As a boy, he had heard stories from his father about a great and terrible being that was fabled to have come to London, driving a coach madly down the streets and producing a giant explosion which managed to kill the horse, the owner of the cab, and even the cab owner's wife. But what had sparked his interest even further was a diary he had picked up at an estate sale at the age of 16, which detailed an entire land in vivid detail, where magic ruled and fantastic beasts roamed freely, most of them with the amazing ability to mimic human speech perfectly. Derik had long dreamed about finding this land and harnessing it's assets which, he thought, would make him a variable millionaire. So when his neighbor told him of a peculiar chest that was in her possession, and of fantastic tales of a childhood 'fantasy' as she called it, he took it as a sign that this land- Susan called it 'Narnia'- did very much exist, and was simply waiting for him to harness it's capital.

A look at the chest only confirmed his suspicions. While he said all things to support her, he really believed the very opposite. Once, while Susan was in the kitchen preparing a cup of tea for them, he had stolen a peak into the chest. What had met his eyes made the greed swell up inside of him like a monster. Rich fabric trimmed in gold as well as a finely wrought piece of silver, fashioned into a delicate cornet, were at the top of the chest. Given time, he would have gladly dove in deeper- but at that very inopportune moment, he heard footsteps heralding Susan's entrance into the dining room, causing him to make the quickest dash of his life to the couch.

So while Susan lived in blissful ignorance, Derik schemed long into the night, devising grand plots of how best to harness the magic of this enchanted land and how best to bring it back to England. Within a twelvemonth, he would be rich. All he had to do was get close enough to Susan to convince her to spill the secret of getting there. 'And at this rate', he thought, 'I'll be richer than the Queen in a fortnight.'

It was all just a matter of time.

a/n: Okay, so, like I said before, I'm extremely sorry for the huge wait. My muse took holiday, and school, band, and just plain ol' life have really cut down on my writing time.

To be honest, I don't really like this chapter much. Just me. The idea was good, but to me, the writing wasn't. In other words, don't be too super surprised if at some point I go back and rewrite this chapter. I've been feeling really guilty, though, especially with all the reviews, so I decided to put this up for you guys.

Which brings me to reviews. Oh my gosh, guys, thanks to all of you! I hope this was maybe a little worth the wait. I would love to see ten reviews on this chapter, but I'm not making it a requirement or anything. Thanks so much, especially, to all of you who have reviewed for more than one chapter. I can't tell you guys how much it means to me!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoied, and with any luck the next update will be a bit sooner than this one was.

Kate


	6. A Moving Day

"It's so good of you… to help me with these things, Derik," Susan said over her end of the heavy chest they carried between them.

"Don't… mention it," Derik replied, strain showing on his usually immaculate features.

With a sigh of relief the two managed to hoist it into the boot of Susan's car and promptly sat on the top lid.

"That thing looked a lot lighter inside," Derik said after a moment's silence punctuated with only deep breaths.

"Yes, it did," Susan said, putting her hand down accidentally on top of Derik's. "Oh, sorry," she said, blushing crimson.

"Don't be sorry, it's a natural mistake," he said easily, smiling winningly at Susan.

Susan's heart did a flip flop, but the feeling of confusion engulfed her. She could almost hear her sister's voice discouraging her, as if Lucy was sitting right beside her. Before she could stop herself, Susan glanced to her left out of the corner of her eye, almost expecting to see her sister beside her. A resounding sense of disappointment came over her as she saw naught but the street, and no Lucy. Susan started to turn back, but to hide her strangeness feigned a sneeze.

"Bless you," Derik said.

"Thanks," Susan said with a smile.

"It's rather nice, isn't it? Being with people again?" he said.

"Very," Susan agreed. "Ever since my family died..." she stopped, realizing that she had never explained her orphaned, alone state to anyone save her closest friends.

"Your family?" Derik repeated softly. "They all-"

"Dead, yes," Susan said quietly. "In a train accident."

"I'm so sorry-"

"God help me, if I hear one more person say 'I'm sorry for your loss' I will loose it," Susan said angrily, her mood shifting as quickly as a summer storm. "They are not lost. They are dead, plain and simple," she said, jumping off the boot. "I can't just find their lives like I find my hairbrush when it goes missing! So why do people even say that!"

"I didn't mean to offend you-" Derik began.

"No one ever does! But they do... oh they do," Susan said angrily.

"Susan."

"And then they come with their casseroles and their cookies to make you feel better-"

"Susan."

"-but all that happens is you have an ice box chock full of blasted casseroles and people knocking at your door for the next week wanting their pan back-"

"Susan!" Derik said sharply, causing her to start.

"What?" she said irritably.

"I realize that you want to vent and all, but I need to be to work in an hour and a half, and I want to help you with that chest," he said. "So we rather need to get going, don't you think?"

"Yes… of course," Susan said, taking the keys and slipping into the right side subdued. As soon as Derik was in she locked the door out of habit and put the keys into the ignition. With a quick look about, she pulled out of her parking space and out onto the road, soon going along at a good clip, trying to get her frazzled nerves and feelings under a semblance of control.

Derik made no noise either, reeling somewhat by his revelation. One simple statement had suddenly opened his eyes to so much about Susan. Over the past few weeks he had come to respect her, but he could feel a wall between them. For the first time since he had met her, he could feel the tiniest crack in that wall. Now he knew why she was the way she was- cautious, and unbelievably hard to reach. The hardship that this young woman had faced was remarkable, and quite unlike anything Derik had experienced. His parents lived not twenty miles away in the same house he had grown up in, unchanged since when he was a boy. His father was his idol- rich, smart, reasonably compassionate. In him Derik saw every one of his ambitions realized. The second two he had no problem with- it was just that rich part that gave him difficulty, thus his interest in Narnia.

"I'm sorry," Susan said eventually as she came to a policeman directing traffic. "I really didn't mean to blow up like that."

"You had every right to. I didn't know how you felt about it. But now I'll be sure to keep that in mind. I've never lost anyone close to me, I'm afraid. My grandparents were both dead when I was born and my younger sister is the picture of health."

"Sounds like Peter," Susan said wistfully. "He was the athlete type of our family. Ed had no inclination to. And Lucy- well, Lucy turned into quite the lady after I left home. Though she never put much store into appearing like one, her manners were impeccable."

"You miss them, don't you?" Derik said, noting her wistful tone.

"Every day," Susan replied.

Derik just nodded, and the rest of the ride was a silent one. In time enough, Susan pulled up to her parent's house and shut off the ignition, getting out. "This is it- not too many steps," she said with feigned seriousness.

"After what we did back at the apartment, this is a piece of cake," Derik replied. "Come on- we should get on it."

Susan first ran up to the door, unlocked it, then came back, opened the boot of the car and got a finger hold on the side of the chest as Derik did the same. "Ready?" he said over the top.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Susan replied with a smile. With a grunt Derik lifted his side and Susan mustered up her strength and lifted her side with some difficulty.

"Alright," Derik said. "We'll do this quick. I'll go backwards," he said, inching towards the stairs. Susan could do naught but nod, trying to keep her arms from giving out. They made their way up the stairs and into the door Derik kicked open. "Where do you want it?" he asked, his eyes searching.

"Just over here," Susan said, and they put it down on the floor with great relief.

"Remind me that the next time you want help with that to go on a long vacation," Derik said in jest as he sat on the plump paisley couch.

"Thanks," Susan replied sarcastically, going over towards the ice box. "D'you want anything? Water? Tea?"

"Water would be lovely, thanks," Derik said, taking advantage of her absence to take in the room. It was modestly decorated with tasteful furnishings and a smattering of family pictures. "Your family certainly seemed close knit," he remarked.

"Oh yes. We would see all the aunts and uncles at least once a year, usually around Yuletide," Susan said, bringing in a glass of water for Derik. "It was always pandemonium. But it was fun, too."

"I can imagine. My family is, unfortunately, quite small," Derik said, though his voice betrayed no sense of sorrow. "My parents were not so keen on large familial gatherings. Quite frankly I find myself completely out of place whenever I go to one, even if it is my own family."

Susan just nodded, a little struck by his comment. Though she had always professed to be more independent than the rest, she was always very glad of having a large family. It had been a godsend when her immediate family had died, however bothersome she had found it. Uncles and Aunts from all over England and Ireland had positively poured in for the funerals and to help a benumbed Susan. Gradually they had left, though Susan felt a secret security knowing that her Aunt Irene lived not a mile from her. Surprisingly, though, Susan kept these thoughts back and merely remarked how unfortunate it must be for him, to which he promptly responded that it really was no matter.

"I never knew family, Su. How could I miss something I never had?" He said as he craned his neck to get a look at the clock.

"Indeed," was all she said. The moment of tension was broken finally by the shrill ring of the telephone in the mudroom. "I'll be right back," was all Susan said as she gratefully made her way to the back of the house.

Derik lost no time in going to the chest which Susan had for all intensive purposed abandoned. Silently he hoped for a long conversation for Susan and opened the chest lid as quietly as was possible, opening it inches at a time to keep the rusted hinges from squeaking too loudly. Eagerly his eyes took in the contents that he had memorized from the hasty viewing not two weeks prior. There was the dress, the crown, the papers. Not a thing had been touched, only slightly jostled by its cross town trip in Susan's car. With a glance behind him, he took out the topmost papers and scanned them with relish, delving in further to see if there were more. To his utter delight, his fingers caught a scroll and another sheaf of papers which he added to the growing stack on his left. A moment of silence told him that Susan would yet be a while, for the telltale sounds of muffled crying came from the mudroom. "Probably telling some numbskull that her entire family's dead. Poor lass," he said, pausing for but a moment before continuing.

His treasure hunt was cut short by the quiet thump of Susan's hard soles on the rug of the hall, causing Derik to hastily shove all his things into his satchel bag he had brought on the excuse of 'going to work' directly after. In truth he would be, but it was a very different work than Susan could ever imagine.

But when Susan came into the sitting room, she found Derik almost exactly as she had left him, the only difference that he had moved his arm to the back of the couch in a pose of ease and belonging. "Everything alright?" he asked, putting on a caring face.

"Oh, yes. That was just one of my father's friends, calling about him… He had been away for awhile and only just got back," Susan said, mumbling the end.

"It must be horrid- telling all these people," Derik said with a sympathetic tone. "I can't imagine."

"Er... honestly I really can't talk about it right now," Susan said carefully, trying hard to contain the remenants of the tears. "I'm sorry… it's just…"

"Say no more," Derik said, standing. "You look like you need some time for yourself. I have to go to work in any case," he said, happy to have an excuse. Nothing unsettled him more than seeing women cry.

"Oh, don't leave on my account," Susan said hastily, not knowing what she was saying.

"I really must go, though, else I'll be late," he said as he shrugged on his blazer. "But I'll come around tomorrow if you'd like."

"What of dinner?" Susan asked somewhat bewildered.

"Oh, that… I'm real sorry Susan, but I'm working late. Can I take a rain check?"

"Of course," Susan said, a note of irritation in her voice. "It isn't too far to your work, is it?"

"Oh no, it's just down the way," Derik said, stepping to the door.

"You're sure? I feel awful just bringing you out to the middle of nowhere and then-"

"Really, it's no trouble!" he replied, anxiously twisting the doorknob, eager to leave.

Susan balked at the anxiety in his voice but quickly composed herself. "Right... well, goodbye."

"See you about!" Derik called, practically wrenching the door open and obviously attempting to keep himself to a walk as he left.

Susan watched him go then sighed, flopping on the couch. "Susan, you idiot," she said aloud. "I'll never get married if the longest a guy can stand to be with me is two hours." Only silence met her statements and she took a deep breath and turned to the family portrait on the wall. "I would give anything to have you lot back," she said quietly. "Anything in the world." There was no change in the smiling faces of her brothers, mother, father, and Lucy.

Susan stood up, her spirits dampened and took up her handbag and keys. At the door, she found herself pausing, straining to hear voices she would never hear on this earth again, the familiar tread of her family. A tear slowly dripped down her cheek as she looked once more towards the formal portrait. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be," she said, turning and going out the door. As she got in her car she spared one last look at the house she knew she would not return to for at least a month. "It wasn't meant to be," she repeated to herself as she started the engine and drove away, leaving the house and the dreams of her family in the dust behind her wheels.

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a/n: Let me begin by saying I am so sorry for the month long wait. My muse was non-existant for the past weeks, and I couldn't bring myself to write another chapter like the last. If it makes you feel better, I bombed the writing portion of a standardized test for the same reason of a creativity wall. But hopefully this 2158 word chapter made up for it somewhat.

I can't say how surprised I was to see 11 reviews on chapter 5. You guys are awesome! There seems to be a theme about the chest, though, and how it came to be. The answer... will be revealed in the next chapter! Oh, I know, you hate me now, but I have to keep you guys interested somehow!

A huge thanks to all of you newcomers to this story. I can't describe how encouraging it is to see that this story is on 21 user's favorite list and 31 alerts list.

a/n: I took down the response to viewers after being informed of new policy regarding such.

Well, that's it guys, until next time. On an off note, I'm considering doing a webbie and forum thing (well, forum is already in existence, 'The Queen's Last Testimony', if your so inclined to go), so be sure to watch for developments! And I'll definitely try to get that next chapter up as soon as its done (hopefully sooner than this one was in coming!)

Until then,

Kate


	7. A World Apart

**a/n:** As my band director would say, now for something completely different. Hope you enjoy!

_O_

_From atop the highest point in Narnia, Lucy strained her eyes once more for a glimpse of her sister, throwing her vision out as far as she could. But alas, there was no sign of her any longer- the streets were bare to her little puttering car that she had gotten when their father had bought a new one. Lucy sighed with dismay and after a last desperate scan, she gave up and brought her thoughts back to her body. _

_Lucy felt an acute sense of disappointment about her sister's lack of regard for Narnia or its existence. Almost since she had arrived in Narnia and discovered the portal between world's weak-point here on the hill, Lucy had traveled here to watch her beloved sister. What she had seen in the past four months (so she thought it was by Susan's reckoning) had caused her alarm, to say the least. Susan had always been to one to have the most trouble with the acceptance of Narnia. But this, Lucy thought, was absurd even for her. _

"_I thought I may find you here," a man's voice from behind Lucy said._

_Lucy just nodded, not turning to face her brother. She could tell by the footfalls and voice it was Peter. 'Trust Peter to watch out for me,' she thought with a faint smile as she heard her brother sit beside her._

"_How is she?" Peter asked hesitantly, unsure if he really wanted to know the fate of his other sister. _

"_No better than before," Lucy responded, a resounding note of disappointment. Peter returned with naught but a nod in acknowledgement, his face unreadable. 'He plays king well,' Lucy thought morosely, wishing for once he would be Peter her eldest brother rather than High King Peter. "You seem hardly pleased of it," she remarked to his stoic features._

"_Why should I, Lu?" he asked. "She has given up Narnia and albeit forsaken her family," he said coolly. "She never wanted us, why should we want her?"_

"_Peter, that's not true!" Lucy scolded. "If you had seen half what I have seen you'd know it was different. She devotes so much energy to keeping herself together-"_

_Peter cut her off, "How much of that do you think is a 'brave act' on her part, Lu? Granted, she was probably startled by the loss of all of us in one fatal swoop. But how can she miss what she never acknowledged in the first place?" _

"_But she does, Peter! I swear it," Lucy said. One look at his countenance told her what she had feared- he didn't believe her. _

"_I'm sorry, Lu. I know you and she had a special bond. But I can't see how she would change her ways…"_

"_But I've done everything to make her remember!" Lucy said in frustration. "Everything! And she did, at one point, Peter. But she's scared-"_

"_That is no excuse, Lucy!" Peter erupted. "Many people are scared to do what they must, yet they do. I will not make exceptions for her."_

"_She's your _sister_, Peter," Lucy said, variably begging with him to accept her._

"_She was my sister," he said, coldly correcting Lucy. "Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia, therefore I can't think of her as my sister. She is linked to me by blood, yes, but there is no love lost between us." _

"_She remembers, Peter. She does!" Lucy said emphatically. "When she saw the chest, when she donned her robes-"_

"_When she what?" Peter said, his eyes ablaze. "Lucy, why do I have the feeling that this is in relation with the missing relics? Please tell me you didn't convince the wizard to help you send it to Earth. I am begging you, Lucy, please tell me you didn't." One look at his sister confirmed what her next words would be._

"_I did, Peter. But you mustn't get mad at the wizard. He's not to blame. I had to beg him to as it was. He didn't want to but I made him. Blame me," Lucy said, resilient. Peter just buried his face in his large hands._

"_Lucy, why? You know that to do such a thing could cause disaster.." Peter moaned into his hands. _

"_I had to, for Susan, Peter. She's so close to accepting I can variably feel it," Lucy said, putting her hand on her brother's arm. _

"_Lucy, it won't happen. Trust me. Susan isn't the sort to remember something like Narnia again. She's convinced herself it isn't true, so she'll never believe, no matter how much you want her to." _

"_But you didn't see her in that dress, Peter. I swear she remembered. It was like the old times, the Golden Age, when we all four were here." _

"_Susan is attracted to pretty things, Lu. The dress probably just caught her fancy is all." _

"_You make her sound no better than a monkey, Peter," Lucy said sourly. _

"_Alright, I'll humor you for a moment. Let's say she did remember. Why did she do nothing else? What has she done with our treasured relics now, hmm?"_

"_She was scared, Peter! It was all new and entirely foreign to her! And we're not there to help her with this."_

"_It is something that she must learn for herself," said a deep voice from behind the quarreling monarchs. _

_Peter and Lucy turned, recognizing the voice, and instantly their anger was replaced with embarrassment. "Aslan," Lucy said somewhat nervously. _

"_Daughter of Eve, Son of Adam. I am surprised at you," Aslan said mildly, sitting down on his great cat haunches and eyeing them with unblinking eyes. "Especially you King Peter." _

"_Aslan, I'm sorry, but I can't see how Susan will ever turn to Narnia again," Peter said, frustrated. _

"_The decision is up to her, and her alone. It is something she must come to in her own right," Aslan said firmly. "And the help we provide will not get her far until she can accept it in her heart who she truly is." _

_Both Peter and Lucy nodded quietly, ashamed at their outburst. "Daughter of Eve, you must wait for your sister. Keep your faith, help her through your prayers, but do not seek her out. The path between worlds is as closed to you as it is to me. No longer is the way open from this world to Susan's. It is a one way road, I'm afraid," he said gently. _

"_But Aslan, she will remember, won't she? You'll open up her eyes, won't you?" Lucy said quietly. _

"_As I said, Daughter, it is not for me to decide. Her heart knows the answer to this question, but her mind has to accept what her heart knows." _

_Peter nodded, a triumphant gleam in his eyes. "Always her mind," he said quietly, picking up his fallen cloak and turning to leave. "Shall I see you back at the Cair, Queen Lucy?" he said, once more the High King. _

"_Aye, King Brother," Lucy said quietly. "Within two hours time." _

"_If you're not there I'll send General Orion to find you," he said with a wry smile. _

"_You're too kind," Lucy responded tartly, watching as her brother swung onto his charger and began the way home. Her throat tightening, she turned back to the great cat who remained sitting. "What am I to do, Aslan?" she said finally. "I love Susan so… and seeing Narnia as it is- I want the same happiness for her." _

"_Daughter of Eve, your heart is golden," Aslan said, lifting a paw to welcome her into his embrace. "But what you have done is all that you can. To love is to trust, Daughter, and so you must trust Susan to make her own way here." _

"_So there is nothing more I can do?" Lucy said. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she looked at Aslan's large yellow eyes. _

_Aslan shook his fluffy head slowly. "What you have done is enough. Through your love, Lucy, Susan will be able to find her way, if her heart so desires." _

_Lucy nodded, tears now dripping down her cheeks. "I miss her, Aslan. I know I oughtn't to, but I do. Peter and Edmund are always so kind, and Mother and Father make things lovely here. But I miss my sister. She and I would talk at times, and she gave me advice when I was too scared to ask Mother. Now that she isn't here, I do miss her terribly. Which is why I must see her into Narnia, Aslan. I must. I love my sister so, and I couldn't stand to see her so troubled as she is."_

"_The trouble your sister has is necessary. All must face trials afore they can enter what some call Heaven. You faced yours at a young age, Daughter. Susan is finding hers now." _

"_Make her come, Aslan, like you did for my brothers and me. Please…"_

"_It is not within my power to, Lucy," Aslan said, his voice firm but his eyes betraying a sense of sadness too. _

_Lucy understood by his tone that it was true. Never once had the great lion lied to her, or anyone. Deep within her she knew that he would help Susan if he could. But the knowing didn't make her pain any easier. _

"_Go home, Daughter. Rest your mind and heart. She will come in her own time, if it is to be," he said, getting up and nudging her with a great soft paw towards her horse. Lucy nodded and obediently walked to the gelding and Aslan gave her a nudge up with his nose. "It does not do to dwell on what we cannot change. Keep the love in your heart, Lucy, and Susan is alright." _

_Lucy nodded from atop her horse and the horse began homeward. Aslan lifted his noble paw in a sign of farewell, turned and vanished. Lucy turned her attention to the trail home, smiling kindly at the creatures come out to see the young queen. As she rode she noticed a lightness in her heart that she had forgotten since she came back to Narnia. With a faint smile she came to comprehension. What Aslan said was true, but Lucy knew with her childlike trust that Susan would come home. It may take awhile, but soon Queen Susan the Gentle would take her rightful place with the monarchs of Narnia. Lucy smiled, a renewed sense of comfort with her, and with a quick squeeze sent her horse flying down towards the castle. _

a/n: yes, it is a bit different. I thought it would be nice to break up the monotony a bit with going into New Narnia. Overall I'm fairly pleased with this chapter, and I hope you guys enjoied it too! Please review, and with any luck I'll update again soon.

Kate


	8. Scaling the Walls

**Disclaimer:** If you recognize the character, they don't belong to me.

Chapter Eight: Scaling the Walls

"I've done it," an amazed Derik said, leaning back from his cluttered desk. "It's all here, every last detail."

Eagerly he stood and surveyed the papers spread about the table top. Maps of the finest caliber, decrees and random scribbling covered the surface, while sheaves of lined paper filled with his own scrawl loitered amongst these other worldly documents. Narnia, it seemed, was no more a fairy tale than his life story. It was most undoubtedly real- that much was clear to Derik.

It had taken the better part of three months to obtain all this information. Parts of it were additions to the documents he had originally obtained from Susan's chest, others Susan's own lively stories, oft times told when she was drunk, painstakingly remembered and recorded almost the instant he got home. But there were no longer holes in the story, no longer a question in it's validity. It was real, and now the only thing left to be done was getting there. Once he had done that, Derik knew he was set for life.

"But how to get there?" he mumbled, rifling through the papers, hoping to find some sort of indication of movements there. "Blast," he said, when he reached the page headed 'Travels', which read a single sentence. "Comings and goings to this land are sporadic, and seemingly have no real purpose to the traveler." He frowned and sighed. A wall, now, at all possible times!

From the kitchen, the phone rang, it's shrill tone breaking Derik's concentration. Derik frowned, put the paper back, then went to the phone. The maltreated piece of metal hang by a few wires off the wall, it's speaker a mangled bell. He gingerly picked up the receiver and squatted down in order to speak into the speaker. "Hello?"

"Derik… It's me, Susan," the voice on the other end said.

"Susan," Derik said, half surprised. "I thought you were it Surrey, love."

"I just got home," she said quickly. "I was just wondering when I could come by to get my key…"

"Oh, any time," he said airily. "Just not this moment. I'm afraid the flat's a disaster," he said, his gaze flickering subconsciously towards his study.

From the other end a quiet laugh could be heard, and Derik smiled. Try as he might, his pretending had turned to a genuine like for this girl. The thought had even crossed his mind a couple times to offer her a part in his scheme, though he had quickly shot that down seeing the way she spoke of Narnia.

"Well, just don't give it to anyone, right?" Susan said from the other end of the call. For being so close, she sounded so far away to Derik.

"Now, why would I do such a thing? Just give me a few hours to get things in order then I'd be happy to have you over… say seven-ish?" he asked, a plan beginning to form.

"I couldn't stay long…" she replied anxiously.

Derik grinned a little. "You always say that."

"I know, but I really need to get to work on a report for the office."

"I promise I won't keep you. You'll be in and out, I swear," he said solicitously.

"Alright," she consented, relief obvious in her tone. "See you at seven."

"Good bye," Derik said into the receiver before placing it back on the rack. Susan was, at times, too easy. How many times had he made promises like this, he wondered. Too many times to count, really, all coming to the same result after he put a drink in her hand and gave an ear to her woes. A bit of prodding, and the information would seep out like water from a fall, sometimes so much that Derik had to excuse himself for a time to record it all under the pretense of going to the loo. But this was it, he promised. As soon as Susan told him how to get to Narnia- for, he thought, there must be a concrete way in and out- he would let it go, and maybe see her in a social setting. She was nice enough, pretty, too. "Besides," he said with a smirk. "She's been queen of the land once, hasn't she? She could come rule by my side in this kingdom."

--------

Seven came, and Susan was, as expected, at the door to apartment 214 knocking her usual light taps. "I won't let him keep me," she muttered as she heard footsteps from inside coming towards the door. "Just get the key and go, Su," she told herself, looking up and smiling just in time to see Derik opening the door. "Hello," she said cheerfully, giving him a friendly hug.

"Hello yourself," he replied genially. "Conference go alright?"

"Oh, well enough," she said. "Nothing much gained by it, but it's a trip, you know?"

"Of course, of course," he purred. "Step in, won't you?" he asked, moving aside to let her in. "Your key is right in the kitchen, along with your post from the past couple days."

"You didn't have to get my post," Susan protested as she stepped inside the threshold and Derik closed the door behind her.

"Oh, it was no trouble," he said, heading towards the kitchen. "Our boxes are right by one another and I've got the key. Besides, you know how crotchety the post man can get about overstuffed boxes," he explained.

"Well, if your sure," she said.

"Don't even give it a second thought. What are neighbors for, after all?" he said with a grin. "Can I get you anything?" he asked, peeking under the cabinets to look at her. "Tea, cordial? I got some nice biscuits at the market the other day," he said, bringing out the tin as proof.

"Derik, I really can't," Susan protested, looking toward the door apprehensively. "I have work tomorrow…"

"Surely they don't expect you back so soon!" he said indignantly. "Besides, you're going to run out on me after I watched over your place for the week?" he said.

Susan sighed, knowing that Derik had a point. "Well… I suppose a cup of tea won't hurt," she conceded. "But then I really have to go."

"Of course!" Derik said amiably. "Won't take but twenty minutes. Would you like some of these?" he asked, shaking the tin. "They're hazelnut."

"I suppose," she said, removing her blazer and unbuttoning the sleeves of her blouse. She frowned. 'I really should've changed,' she thought sourly as she looked down at her uncomfortable shoes and nylons.

After a moment of clattering in the kitchen, Derik emerged, a full tea on a wooden tray which he sat on the little table. "Two lumps, right?" he said, pouring her a cup.

"Yes, thanks," she said, having to smile as she watched him go through the feminine act of preparing tea. He handed her a cup and prepared his own with a lump of sugar and a shot of liquor. "Here's to you coming home," he said, holding his cup to her.

"I heartily agree with that," Susan replied, taking a sip of the hot brew before reaching and taking a cookie which she nibbled on hungrily. "I didn't have any lunch," she explained in reaction to his look over.

"Do you want something more substaintial?" he asked, putting down his cup.

"No, no," she said. "Sit down. Honestly, Derik, you're being worse than my grandmother," she said with a smile.

"Would you like me to nag about the length of your skirt, too? Then I could complete the resemblance," he said with a grin.

"Do that and I'll be forced to do something drastic," she warned, trying to look menacing but failing miserably.

Derik laughed, a loud, somewhat obnoxious laugh, which he quickly altered into a low chuckle. "I'm ever so scared," he managed sarcastically.

"You ought to be," she replied, her face breaking out into a sunny smile. She smiled and leaned back, getting comfortable on the puffy couch. "Mmm, this feels so much better than the train seats," she said, putting down her cup and closing her eyes.

"What? The company didn't give you first class seats?" Derik asked mildly, silently hunting for an opportunity to broach the subject which he wanted to hear about.

Susan let out a bitter laugh. "No," she said shortly. "Only ones who get that are the president and his favorites."

"You're worth ten of them anyhow," he said encouragingly.

Susan opened her eyes. "Glad somebody thinks so," she muttered, taking up her cup and sipping it gingerly.

He just nodded and allowed the conversation to lull into silence. Now was his chance to strike, he thought, refilling his cup. "It's been awhile since you've told me one of your Narnia stories," he said casually.

"Oh," she said, snorting. "Surely your not interested in that dribble?"

"I find it very interesting," he said indignantly. "I always like your stories."

Susan raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked doubtfully.

"Really," he affirmed, hoping he came across as sincere since everything hinged on this.

"Oh, alright. Just don't make fun of me," she said, smiling even as she said it.

"Now, have I ever done such a thing?"

"No, no. Of course not. What kind of story would you like?" she asked, becoming pleased with the prospect. Strangely enough, she had begun thinking more and more about the old game she played with her siblings, even going so far as to wish she could go back to those times, go back to that mythical land.

"Tell me how you come to be in Narnia," he said, leaning back.

"Well," she said quietly, "The first time we went was through an old wardrobe- but I'm sure that's long since been destroyed. The Professor had said something about rings, but those were buried at his childhood home, so my siblings and I never did use them. We were summoned there through the oddest means…"

-------

Four hours later, Derik sat once again in his study, the shades drawn and a single sheet of paper before him. Susan had long since left, after realizing that she had spent near two hours just talking to him, and Derik was quite frustrated with himself and the evening. Susan's 'story' had been quite disheartening. Of all of the ways, which he had listed before him, none seemed really plausible. Indeed, they all were quite outlandish.

"Being pulled in obviously won't work," he muttered, crossing out the first item, "and neither will the wardrobe." Another bullet was crossed out. "The painting is gone, probably, with the house," he muttered. With a sigh he circled his only remaining option. "Which leaves only the rings."

Another problem, another wall. He frowned and crumpled the piece of paper. It was so damn frustrating! The number of hitches in this plan were more numerous than the stars that could be seen twinkling from behind one of the shades that hadn't come completely down. "It's almost as if someone doesn't want me to find out," he grumbled as he unfolded the piece of paper. "But if that's the case, I'm just going to have to get around it."

Derik let out a heavy sigh and looked once more at the paper. "Kirke… Diggory Kirke," he mumbled, writing the name in a scrawling hand under the circled option. "I guess it's to the library with me. With any luck they'll have some sort of mention of where he lived." Derik stood and yawned, reaching for the light. "I've scaled too many of these walls to let this stop me. Come hell or high water, I'm getting into that land. Even if it's the last thing I do." With that he clicked off the lamp and left the room, the starlight penetrating the window glass hitting the paper on the desk, illuminating his plan.

------------------------------------------

a/n: Well then... Let me begin with I'm sorry for the delay in putting this up. Quite frankly my genius has been on hiatus for so long that I began to doubt I could finish this story. I hope you didn't despise this chapter too much. I found it a nesicary evil sort of chapter, all in all. Don't worry. Next one ought to be a bit better. I may just quicken the pace here, in the hopes of getting this done before I loose all my motivation for doing it. ;) Anyway, school is coming to a close, which means more time to write (yay!). With some luck, I'm hoping to finish this story by August. Many thanks to my reviewers... virtual hugs to all of you. If you like what you're reading, please don't be shy and post a review! Until next time-

Kate


	9. A Man Possesed

**Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia. Though at times, I wish I did. **

Chapter 9: A Man Possesed

"Derik, what exactly did you bring me here for?" Susan asked somewhat suspiciously as he led her into his spare room.

"You'll see," he said with a smirk as he led her forward into the darkened room. "Just a bit further…"

"You can't turn on a light or something?" she tried, put on edge by Derik's strange behavior. Never had she known her neighbor to be so eccentric… which is, she mussed, what he sounded like on the phone earlier that evening. He had been so excited, rambling on about achieving his goal and wanting her to see it all in front of her. It had made no sense to her then, and meaning still eluded her even as Derik persistently led her forward.

"Stop!" he commanded, suddenly pausing himself. "Okay, stay right here," he said. Susan was vaguely aware of him walking towards the door, where the only sliver of light came through the bottom of the closed door. The light switch clicked up, and all at once light flooded the room, causing Susan to have to blink a few times before being able to see Derik, a manic smile on his face. "Look, Susan…" he said quietly, walking quickly around. "I've done it!"

Susan, still not comprehending, obligingly looked and had to gasp. Every article she had ever spoken of to him in relation to Narnia was now sitting in that very room. On the wall hung the portrait of the Dawn Treader which Lucy and Edmund had once told her of, and under it the same chest she had so painstakingly moved to her parents' home not so long ago. Even the wardrobe that started it all had found a place in the room, though it's door hung at an awkward angle and there was a very obvious hole in the side wall of it. Surrounding all of these fantastic objects was enough paper to cover all of the walls, among them some very familiar looking scrolls. Shock and horror took the place of confusion on Susan's face as she looked over at Derik. "What is all this!" she cried.

"It's my future. Fame, fortune, all in this very room," Derik said excitedly. "Don't you see! We can go back! You will take me!" he paused, taking her hands tightly and lowering his voice. "I know who you are, Susan. Or should I say, Queen Susan the Gentle." He bent a knee to her, taking her hand and kissing it.

"Derik! What the bloody is _wrong_ with you!" Susan asked, quite frightened of him. "It's not real!"

"Oh, but it is…" he said excitedly. "Don't you see? It's all here Su. Everything you told me about. Look at this!" He quickly reached and unfurled one of the thick scrolls. "Look at them! The little fauns all dancing, just like you would tell me of. And the records, Su! Those alone-"

"A child's fantasy!" Susan broke in. "Listen, I'm glad you enjoyed my memories, Derik, but this is frankly absurd…"

"But it's not! We'll be rich, Susan! I may even marry you!" Derik replied, near giddy now. "Just think, we can bring these creatures back, sell them to zoos all around the world. Have you any idea how much people would pay to see them? Especially the talking animals, what a moneymaker."

"Even if they did exist, Derik, they couldn't be caged. Aslan wouldn't stand for it," Susan replied, not even realizing what she had said until the damage had been done.

"To hell with Aslan! You told me the big cat's gone away, anyway, Su," Derik insisted. "We wouldn't have any difficulty in getting those animals away. Besides, think of all the beautiful things you could have here!"

"No… No, Derik, this is wrong…" she persisted, her mind in a daze.

"You're wrong!" he yelled, his ire raised. In one deft movement he slapped Susan soundly across the face, knocking her against the door of the wardrobe. "Either you're with me or you're not, girl!"

"I'm not either, Derik-"

"No!" he screamed. "Shut up! You _will_ help me or it will be your life on the line!" he said insanely as he picked up a discarded table leg. "Don't think I'd hesitate to slam this into your pretty little skull, Su…" he warned.

Scared for her life, Susan nodded meekly. Seeing her nod, Derik's anger quickly evaporated and he gave a grim smile. "Good girl. Now change into these," he said, throwing the bundle of Narnian clothes at Susan. "Then you will take me there."

"But Derik, I don't know how-"

"Quiet!" he barked. "You _will_ get me there, understand?" Susan managed to nod finally as Derik glared at her. "I'll be outside," he said as he walked out of the door. From her spot in the middle of the room Susan could hear the telltale click of the lock. There was no escaping. Derik was mad, obviously, she thought to herself. Looking around the room she found escape futile. The window was boarded up to a degree it would be impossible to get through, and even should she be able to, she remembered, there was a four story drop to the ground. A growled 'hurry up' from the door sent Susan into a mad scramble as she changed as rapidly as she could into the garments, their beauty and comfort offering her no solace now. Finishing the last button on her dress, Susan heard the door open. "Your majesty," Derik said, reverting into his old manner as he bowed. "You are missing your crown, my lady…"

"Derik… Derik, please. Just stop this…" Susan begged as Derik pushed the crown on top of her mane of dark curls.

"I will get what I want. And you're the only one who can give it to me," he said silkily, taking her hand roughly. "Now tell Him."

"Tell who?" Susan asked, quite confused.

"The lion, girl. Tell him you want back. Tell him it is time the Lost Queen was found," he said, his voice low.

Susan quickly squeezed her eyes closed, repeating Derik's words in her mind. Her heart sank as the minutes ticked by and nothing happened. "Try harder!" Derik hissed in her ear. Her blood pounding in her ears, Susan tried once more, before her thoughts went to her sister. 'Lucy… please… he'll kill me if I don't do it. Lucy, help me. Forgive me. Forgive me, Aslan, for what I am about to do…"

The sound of a strong breeze filled the room, and Susan opened her eyes, finding papers swirling about like a cyclone around her and Derik. Derik was grinning like mad, a malicious glint in his eyes as they both felt their feet leave the ground.

_a/n: I'm SO SORRY for the long wait. My summer has been muy mucho busy, leaving nearly no time for this story. :( Ya'll deserve cookies for waiting so long... I also need to appologize for the qualtity and length of this chapter- I figured something was better than nothing. Please don't give up on me, my loyal readers! I'm going to be making a concerted effort to get some more written. Please feel free to post your review, tell me how much this chapter is unfufilling or what have you. Trust me, you won't be telling me anything I don't know. I'll try to update ASAP, so keep checking back. It's my goal to get this story wrapped up in a few more chapters, probably about 2-4 at most. So be prepared, my readers!_

_And yes, Derik is a toerag. Deal._

_Lots o love (and cookies!),_

_Kate_


	10. Passing Judgement

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing, save a propensity for procrastination.**

* * *

There is hardly a feeling so exhilarating as flying through the air, feeling the air whip past your face. That sensation of being completely and utterly free from any and all restrictions…

Unfortunately for Susan Pevensie, she could take no joy in the flight across worlds. She was painfully aware of Derik's continued presence beside her, the throbbing pain in her hand as he clutched it serving as an incessant reminder. Everything seemed to be going past Susan's eyes in slow motion now… whirls of colors, memories from those bygone days. There, the first time she and her siblings had wandered into Narnia. And there! The coronation ceremony. The hunt for the white stag. Returning once more in glory to an older Narnia. Aslan telling Peter and herself that they would never return to Narnia… Susan watched all these moments flash before her eyes like a show on the telly. Oh, God, what had she done now?

With a thud Susan was started out of her reverie, feeling the all too solid ground beneath her. Suddenly her only thought became the pain shooting through her back, and the realization that they were very certainly no longer in England. Afraid to look, afraid to see the all too familiar land that she felt certain they were in, Susan kept her eyes closed, praying futilely that it was all a horrid dream.

"Where is it?" came Derik's voice. "Where the bloody hell _is it_?!" he screeched, causing a shooting pain to go through Susan's head. Confused, Susan hesitantly opened her eyes and immediately found herself speechless.

Gone. All gone. Replaced by an abyss, a desert wasteland that resembled nothing in all of Susan's memories. Not a single tree or blade of grass, or anything living at all. The moon hung low in the sky, in a position that made it clear this night would never end. A silence that was deafening hung thick in the air. Susan swallowed hard as she surveyed the desolate space. No Narnia. Somehow this realization that she was too late, left behind all over again, hit the hardest of anything. It wasn't fair! Was she to forever be doomed to never see an ounce of comfort? To never see any reminder of her brothers and sister? "It…. No…" Susan whispered as she stood and looked forlornly.

"You lied to me!" Derik said, suddenly turning on Susan. "You lied! You made it all up, didn't you? _Didn't you?!_"

"No! It was real, I swear it. As real as you or I!" Susan said, hardly aware of the tears coursing down her cheeks. "It was real! But it's gone now! Gone so scum like you can't exploit it! I'm happy it's gone!" she said, now near hysterical. "Happy so that you can't defile Narnia!"

"Shut up!" Derik said angrily, slapping her again. "You don't know anything! Don't know how hard it's been all these years to have people view you as insane… even your own father!"

"Of course I do, Derik!" she screamed back at him. "You're looking at the single person who would understand. Now I have no way to go home. Narnia is gone, and all my dreams of being reunited with my family along with it. So just… just… go!" she said, sinking to her knees.

Derik stood silent for an indeterminable amount of time. Was she telling the truth? Or perhaps she was hiding something more? Had she led him here to protect the integrity of the stupid land? Of her Narnia? "Get up," he said coolly. "Get up you lying traitorous filth," he said, standing over Susan.

Susan made no movements, only kept her head down against the scratchy sand as the realization of what and who she was washed over her. Traitor. Non-believer. She had lost the faith. Faith in God, faith in Aslan, faith in her family. Why oh why did she have to think herself superior to them? Why could she not open her heart and realize what had been there all along? Now, it seemed, she was too late. She had failed. Again. Ignoring Derik, Susan closed her eyes and sat up, pressing her hands together. "Oh, Aslan. Please… Please. I don't even know if you can hear me now. But I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for forgetting Narnia. I was so hurt when you told me and Peter we would never return to Narnia. So I decided that the pain would lessen if I just forgot… but I cannot forget Narnia. I cannot turn my back on you, Aslan. You were always so patient with me. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me… I know Narnia is gone. It is forever closed to me. I know. I only wish to make peace with you. Oh, Aslan… you seem so far away, yet so close I could almost touch your mane again. How… How do I go on, Aslan? I miss my family, I regret ever doubting them. How can I live with this pain? Aslan, please… if you can hear me, please, I beg you…. Help me now," she begged, her voice a hoarse whisper as she rocked back and forth in the sand.

"Stop that nonsense," Derik spat, kicking her.

"Please, Aslan… forgive me my sins… help me remove my foolish pride, my inhibitions…"

"Get up! I order you to!" Another kick before he wrenched her up.

"…Keep Narnia safe… Keep my family in your safe keeping. Forgive me, Aslan, for ever turning away. I wish to be a daughter of Eve just one more time… Aslan…"

"Shut up, you idiot," Derik said, shaking Susan so hard her teeth chattered in her mouth. "Stop your incoherent babbling and tell me where Narnia is!"

Susan finally looked up, and stood transfixed. For, in the distance, a shape moved majestically towards her. The moonlight illuminated the tawny mane, the regal face… She could see the light glint off the big yellow cat eyes that were focused on herself. A thousand different emotions washed through her at that moment, and with unknown strength she wrenched herself from her captor's hands and ran stumbling towards the lion. "Aslan?" she breathed.

The big cat continued his progress towards her, and Susan nearly collided with him before he stopped. "Aslan?" she asked again, hardly believing it.

"Yes, Daughter of Eve," the lion said, inclining his head.

"Oh, Aslan… I… I…" Susan paused, not knowing what to say. "I'm so sorry…." She whispered finally, humiliation lying heavily upon her shoulders like a cloak. Her breath came in hiccups as she began to sob, prostrating herself at Aslan's feet. "I know Narnia is gone, but I'm so sorry… Aslan, please… please forgive me."

Aslan studied the young woman before him for a moment before laying his paw on her head. "Rise, Daughter of Eve. Dry your tears," he said gently, like a father. Susan looked up, rising unsteadily on shaking knees, and then quickly put her head down as a mark of her shame. "Meet my eyes, Susan," Aslan told her. He watched as Susan looked at him with trepidation and nodded. "Do you repent your sins, Susan?" he asked.

"Yes… yes…" she breathed.

"Why do you ask forgiveness if you know you may not enter Narnia?" he asked.

"Because… Because I've realized how utterly foolish I've been all these years," she said after a moment of contemplation. "I need the faith, Aslan. I just… want to not feel so alone in the world. I know that you loved me even when I forsook you. And now, I need that love…" she sighed. "I don't deserve it, but I would work so hard every day to earn back your love…"

"How can you earn back something that never went away, though?" Aslan said. "Susan… you have made some decisions in your life that were not the right ones. However, you have my forgiveness. Is that truly all you seek?"

Susan nodded, knowing better to ask for the ultimate of gifts. However, as she chanced another look at the regal cat before her, she changed her mind. "Aslan, I wish I could see my family. Just once more," she said so softly it was barely audible.

Aslan was silent for so long that Susan feared he hadn't heard her. She opened her mouth to repeat her outlandish request when he spoke. "Your family has entered the shadow worlds, Susan. Surely you do not wish to go there," he said quietly.

"Shadow worlds?" she asked. "But they're dead…"

"Death is what you call it. But it means the same," the big cat explained. "And it is impossible to enter without dying yourself. Do you wish your death, Susan?"

Susan shook her head. "No… no. It was a foolish fancy anyway. I… I had dreamed I saw Lucy. Oh, Aslan, have you seen them? Seen any of them? I just know that they must have returned here…"

"Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia," Aslan said slowly. "You are wise, Susan." At this she looked at him, her face unable to contain the hope for word of her family. "Your sister and brothers are well in their places in the high court. Their only sadness is the empty throne amongst them."

"Empty throne… mine?" Susan squeaked.

To this Aslan nodded slowly. "Queen Lucy most of all," he said gravely.

"Lu… Oh, Aslan, please…" Susan begged. "Tell her I love her and I'm sorry for not listening to her… please…" she begged. "I'll do anything if you could just tell her…"

"Peace, Susan," Aslan said gently. "In time all things will be."

Susan gulped and nodded slowly, not wanting to let it drop but knowing it had to. Suddenly she was aware of a hand over her mouth and a sharp piece of metal at her throat, and her eyes widened in horror as she felt her body pressed up against a man. She tried to scream, but found she couldn't, instead wrenching around to see Derik with a smirk.

"So… you're the mighty Aslan," Derik said with a voice that sounded like a sneer. "I've heard so much of you."

"Release her, Son of Adam," Aslan said quietly.

"Release her? Your precious lost queen?" Derik chuckled softly. "And loose my bargaining chip? Unlikely."

"I ask you again, release her. This will not help you retrieve what you seek," Aslan said in the same disquietingly soft voice.

Derik's hand dropped from Susan's mouth, allowing her to breathe normally, but instead wrapped around her body to keep her there. "No sudden movements, poppet," he hissed in her ear. "You are right. _You_ will help me instead." Derik paused. "Give me what I demand, and Susan goes with you. Don't… and I'll slit her pretty little throat."

"Aslan, no!" Susan shouted. "Please, don't. I'm not worth it… Don't give him what he wants.." she pleaded.

"Silence!" Derik ordered, taking opportunity to press the blade closer. "Well, oh Aslan? What say you?"

"Release her, Derik," Aslan said patiently, like he was speaking to a three year old.

"No. Give me the creatures."

"Derik, there is no point in asking for it," Susan said softly. "I will die before allowing any one of my people to be harmed," she said, straightening. "As will Aslan."

Derik, shocked by her actions, let go, stepping back in order to look at her. "What the hell, Susan? I thought you were with me…"

"How could I ever side with someone who would harm Narnia?" she replied coolly. "Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia," she repeated. "I am their queen. Queen Susan of the Golden Age. You will not harm them."

Derik stared in a moment in shock before doing the most unexpected of things; he laughed. "You… that's funny Su. Queen of Narnia, eh? Queen of Nothing is what you are! Look around you… there's nothing here. Narnia is a lie. It's all a lie," he said bitterly.

Susan's resolve wavered for a moment. Was it true? Was this all a dream, a blissful fantasy? Her heart knew Narnia to be real, even if it was no longer here in front of them. Yet her mind… Susan swallowed. "It's real," she said, though her voice lacked the conviction she would've liked.

"You don't even believe it, Susan," Derik taunted.

"Narnia is real! I believe in Narnia, and I always have. I was a fool for not seeing what was so clearly in front of my face."

"You are a fool Susan. Always have been. You were the one who brought me. Who endangered these "people" of yours you say you love."

"No… Stop it! I order you out! Get out, now!" Susan said angrily.

"You can't drive me away, Susan."

"Yes, she can," came Aslan's voice, causing Susan to start.

Feeling stronger with Aslan's support, Susan once again stood tall. "Cease your quest, Derik. Please. It will never lead to anything good…"

"Never," he spat. "I will get my reward. I will be famous."

"Derik," Susan said gently as she knelt by him. "You don't need money or fame to be happy."

"Yes, I do!" he said, sounding like a petulant child.

"Please, Derik," Susan said, feeling empathy towards this man. "There are more important things…"

"Not for me," Derik said angrily.

Susan looked helplessly at Aslan, not knowing what else to do. "Son of Adam, you are misguided. You are still young… it is not your time to face your judgment," Aslan said quietly, looking at Derik with a form of pity Susan was all too familiar with. "Go home, Derik Ellidge. Return and repent your wicked ways, and fortune will smile upon you."

Derik spat at Aslan. "What do you know, you big furry brute?" he asked.

"Wisdom is something that is acquired slowly. You have very little, Son of Adam. Go, now. You are pardoned for these sins against others. Repent and be saved, my son," Aslan said slowly as he turned away.

"Aslan…" Susan started, unsure of her own fate.

The big cat turned to look at her, studying her. Her face was bruised, her hair tangled, yet she was still every inch the queen he remembered. Aslan gave an almost imperceptible nod of his head to follow, leaving Susan in shock for a moment before complying. She ran after the big cat, leaving Derik behind, knowing that he would have the chance to repent and return to his life. What the future held for her, though, she could only guess. So once more, Susan took her place beside Aslan, letting him lead her where he would, feeling at peace with herself finally.

* * *

a/n: Can you believe it? Only took me nigh on a year... However, I hope you think it's semi-worthwhile. Somehow graduating, quitting my job as a nanny, and getting a laptop all combined to produce a 10th chapter. Worry not, there is another chapter which I'll try to post within the week, and an epilogue with luck. Please forgive me for the length of time I took for posting. If any of my once-loyal reviewers still are out there, please read and review. Reviews mean so much... let me know if you liked it.

3 Kate


	11. Deliverance

**Disclaimer: It's still not mine. Cravitz. **

Susan walked along the desolate plain with Aslan in silence. Where they were going, she could hardly tell. The moon's light remained their only companion, and Susan were it not for Aslan's presence, Susan was nearly certain she would've never ventured this far away from where she had landed. So many questions ran through her mind, but she hesitated to ask anything more of the lion.

"You wish to ask me things," Aslan observed after sparing a glance in Susan's direction.

"Well… yes, actually," she whispered. "Where has Narnia gone, Aslan?"

"It was time," Aslan said simply in response.

"Oh," was all Susan could say, since his answer hardly served to clear anything up. Instead of pressing forward in the conversation, Susan opted for companionable silence once more as they continued ever forward. The silence afforded her the opportunity to reflect upon what her future could hold. Undoubtedly she would be returned to her life in London, back to her work, her friends… Back to a life she no longer fit in. She sighed softly. How could she return to her solitary life? The only person she had regularly communicated with in recent months had been Derik. Derik… she still felt awfully for not recognizing him for what he was sooner. Yet, a voice inside her reminded her, she had never seen the sort of behavior he had exhibited prior to this. Was it really her fault? With a small shake of her head, Susan decided to leave it for contemplation when she could provide a level outlook on the entire debacle.

It came as a surprise to Susan when the great cat beside her stopped, causing Susan herself to make a very ungraceful stop, nearly toppling over the lion in front of her. Her immediate action was to look around. Strangely enough, there was hardly a difference in the landscape now to what it was before. "Aslan… why have we stopped?" she asked finally.

"We have arrived," Aslan said.

"I… I am to go home, then?" Susan said, unable to mask the disappointment in her voice.

Aslan studied the woman for a moment before inclining his head in a nod. "Yes, Susan. You are going home," he said quietly.

Susan nodded. "Where… Oh!" Suddenly before her eyes there was a wooden door that she could have sworn had not been there a moment before. Looking at Aslan in confirmation, she slowly approached to door, looking on the other side at the same wooden door that showed on the other side. "Am I to go through it?" she asked, perplexed.

Aslan padded up beside her. "Yes, Daughter of Eve. Through this door is home. Go ahead… I shall follow behind."

"Aslan…" Susan said, giving pause as she laid her hand on the door handle. "I… my thanks hardly seems adequate," she began.

Aslan nodded, though pushed her lightly towards the door. "I understand, my daughter. Come. Home awaits us," he said gently.

Susan was puzzled at his use of 'us', nonetheless pushing open the door and walking through. When she did so, though, she gasped. She was in a beautiful orchard full of fruit trees- nothing like her London neighborhood where she was expecting to walk into. "Aslan… where…?"

"Welcome home, Queen Susan," came a soft, familiar voice from the tree grove.

Hardly trusting her ears, Susan paused. "It… It can't be," she whispered.

"It is, Su," came Lucy's voice again. Susan turned in disbelief, dissolving into tears of unadulterated joy when she saw her younger sister standing not three feet away, a grin lighting up her pretty features.

"Lucy?" she said. "Lucy, is it truly? I must be dreaming…" Susan sobbed as she ran forward and hugged her sister. "Oh… I… I can't believe it…." She said, hanging on tightly to her little sister's very alive form.

"Oh Susan... You don't know how long I've prayed for this day," Lucy replied as she gently stroked her sister's beautiful locks, once again clean and tangle-free.

Susan hugged her sister for a very long time, afraid to let go. When finally she did release her, she stood back and gave a slight smile through her tears. "Look at you… you're so beautiful, Lu," she sniffled.

Lucy smiled. "No… not I. You were always the pretty one."

"You are beautiful on the inside Lucy. That is something I always lacked in," Susan said softly, humility washing over her.

There was the soft tread of footsteps to be heard, and Susan turned, her breath catching once more as she came face to face with her two brothers.

"I don't know, Su. You may just get there," Edmund said casually, with a twinkle of mirth in his eyes.

"Edmund! Peter!" Susan managed, engulfing them alternately in her embrace. "I can't believe it's true. I am home, aren't I?"

"Yes, sweetie," her mother's soothing voice said. A moment later, Susan realized she was surrounded by her family. An overwhelming feeling of joy coursed through her as she ran to each of them in turn and hugged and kissed them again and again.

When finally she had thoroughly greeted her family, she once more turned to Aslan. "Aslan… am I…?" she asked softly.

The lion gave pause before inclining his head slowly. "Yes. But you are home, Susan."

"That is the greatest gift I could ever receive, Aslan. To be here with my family," she replied, kneeling next to the big cat. "I owe you everything, Aslan," she whispered into his big, fluffy mane as she hugged him tightly. She felt him press his paw to her back in his form of reciprocation before feeling his breath upon her face. "Go, now, Daughter of Eve, Queen Susan. Your court waits to receive you at Cair Paravel. And you know how disappointed Narnians are when their guest of honor fails to show up," he added, a hint of mirth in his voice.

"My court…" Susan repeated, her voice full of awe as she once again tried to take it all in. Her family surrounding her was a greater felicity and reward than she could ever have dreamed of. Were it not for Lucy's good natured pulling, Susan doubted she would've left that beautiful place.

"C'mon, Su. Like Aslan said…. I know the court is positively beside themselves with anticipation," Lucy said with a grin.

"Aye. Even Peter consented to have new clothing made for your re-coronation ball," Edmund said with a smile.

Susan nodded slowly, placing one of her hands in Lucy's, the other in Peter's. "Show me the way?" she asked hesitantly.

"Of course," Peter said with a small smile. "Su?" he said quietly.

"Yes, Peter?" Susan asked, looking up at her older brother.

"I… I'm glad you're back," he confided with a grin.

"So am I, Peter. So am I."

* * *

**a/n: Well... Let me know what you think. I know it's awfully short and probably ought to have been added as a part of the last chapter, but... shrug This is the final official chapter of this fic... I'll probably be posting an epilogue if I see any interest in it. To all who have added this story as a favorite- thank you so much. To everyone who reviewed- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! It makes it all worthwhile. Props to SarahNev, my beta for this chapter. **

**Best wishes! Kate **


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